Every phone is tapped and every person is the police.
A couple of years ago I had something of a revelation. It felt like a crossroads of sorts somehow. I hadn't been to a doctor in years and I went in because of a referral to see someone for depression. What I was told was not particularly surprising to me, I had high blood pressure, was overweight and in danger of pre-diabetes. Afterward I saw a nutritionist who stressed to me how serious all of this was. I think I understood, and I knew what I needed to do but I felt pushback in myself, I remember thinking something along the lines of 'But Godamnit I like hot dogs and beer!' in my mind defending the horrible unhealthy lifestyle that I had been living for the past few years. It was taking it's toll physically, I was 315 pounds, and sometimes I would feel winded walking. In general moving around was somewhat difficult and I always felt like I was carrying this extra cumbersome load. I knew I needed to make a change but it was hard. I feilt impossible even. But even though