Mama take this badge from me, I can't use it anymore
Long day at work today. The first couple hours I was busy prepping and I noticed that the tickets seemed to keep coming. They weren't necessarily piling up but they were consistent. Mostly single orders but they kept coming, a steady barrage. As I was working on prep I was trying to fill some things I see on the steam table and on the line. But it's not always easy to keep track of everything. After I was finished chopping potatoes and cleaning out the back, taking the trash out I told my co-worker I was going to clean up take a quick break and come back on the line as he was set to leave at 6:30. I knew most of the stuff in the fridge was full, and the bain marie, but as I came on the line I saw that there was several things on the steamtable that were almost gone. My co-worker got most of them and as soon as he left the big tickets started coming in the 3, 4 person orders. I was feeling annoyed because I had to heat up so much stuff. I've been trying to stay calm on the line but for the first few minutes I was fuming, but after a little bit I decided to take a step back, calm down, and eventually they were gone. Then in the midst of all this, after the main rush but during another rush, a large table whose order I had just finished had a guy have a seizure in the middle of the dining room. Ambulance, paramedics the whole nine yards. All in the middle of this huge rush. Then after that one of the servers that was working had to call up the boss who had a few choice words for her. She had been sick the week before and called and one day and not shown up another. Then of course this server, who sort of has a thing for drama, was kind of freaking out. It was slightly better at the end, had about four orders and got them out pretty quick.
Why do I stay there? Why not go somewhere with better benefits? I'm not really sure. I think part of it is I feel like I have a good routine going and I like my routine, my schedule. After many years of drifting through the gutters of drinking I finally feel like I have a good routine, productive. Been going to the gym on a fairly regular basis, eating pretty good. Still, I won't say I feel miserable on a daily basis but I do feel I feel something missing. I was talking to a good friend of mine the other day. He was a good well paying job with the state, good benefits, but he hates it. Feels depressed, trapped. Depression is a very strange thing, it can happen to anyone. You could have millions of dollars and vast estates and still feel it. My Mom thinks I should try some kind of vocational training and I think deep down I know this is true. I know it every time I work with people who don't show up or don't work. Every time I scrape the grease off the grill, feel the sweat drip down my body as I flip, and sizzle and fry, is this the price I must pay for not pursuing a higher education? Indeed, is there something wrong with me, with the fact that I really don't want to? What do I want to do? I'm not sure, I've never had a very good answer the the question, 'What do you want to be when you grow up?' In fact I remember for some reason we had this weird yearbook in fifth grade and when asked that question my young self responded with 'A ninja.' Which I think is truly something I thought of then as a legitimate career path. Years later when I was 20 and working at Yankee Candle I thought my dream was to be one of the guys on the forklift. Or the order picker, which is a kind of forklift that goes really high and the dude on it has a harness. They would roam the vast columns of merchandise, these rogues on these machines and damn did I think that looked like just mountains of fun.
Why do I stay there? Why not go somewhere with better benefits? I'm not really sure. I think part of it is I feel like I have a good routine going and I like my routine, my schedule. After many years of drifting through the gutters of drinking I finally feel like I have a good routine, productive. Been going to the gym on a fairly regular basis, eating pretty good. Still, I won't say I feel miserable on a daily basis but I do feel I feel something missing. I was talking to a good friend of mine the other day. He was a good well paying job with the state, good benefits, but he hates it. Feels depressed, trapped. Depression is a very strange thing, it can happen to anyone. You could have millions of dollars and vast estates and still feel it. My Mom thinks I should try some kind of vocational training and I think deep down I know this is true. I know it every time I work with people who don't show up or don't work. Every time I scrape the grease off the grill, feel the sweat drip down my body as I flip, and sizzle and fry, is this the price I must pay for not pursuing a higher education? Indeed, is there something wrong with me, with the fact that I really don't want to? What do I want to do? I'm not sure, I've never had a very good answer the the question, 'What do you want to be when you grow up?' In fact I remember for some reason we had this weird yearbook in fifth grade and when asked that question my young self responded with 'A ninja.' Which I think is truly something I thought of then as a legitimate career path. Years later when I was 20 and working at Yankee Candle I thought my dream was to be one of the guys on the forklift. Or the order picker, which is a kind of forklift that goes really high and the dude on it has a harness. They would roam the vast columns of merchandise, these rogues on these machines and damn did I think that looked like just mountains of fun.
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