The Train of Thought

It sounds kind of strange but I actually kind of always enjoyed the secrecy of getting weed. The sort of secret society that seemed to form when you realized you met someone else who enjoyed the herb. Kind of like the Mafia but instead of crime, were getting stoned. I also don't really like to talk about my usage of it that much, but I also don't really like talking about myself at all period. During the early days of my and my friends use we never really had a solid source. It was always friends of friends, sometimes people on the street, although in those instances there was always a chance someone might just take your cash and give you nothing. Which is kind of funny when you think about it? Wouldn't this person make far more in the long run by just selling you the product? People tend to not want to return to merchants who take their money and give them nothing in return. Our first solid weed guy was this dude named Dan. We didn't have a phone number for Dan, or r...

A couple of years ago I had something of a revelation. It felt like a crossroads of sorts somehow. I hadn't been to a doctor in years and I went in because of a referral to see someone for depression. What I was told was not particularly surprising to me, I had high blood pressure, was overweight and in danger of pre-diabetes. Afterward I saw a nutritionist who stressed to me how serious all of this was. I think I understood, and I knew what I needed to do but I felt pushback in myself, I remember thinking something along the lines of 'But Godamnit I like hot dogs and beer!' in my mind defending the horrible unhealthy lifestyle that I had been living for the past few years. It was taking it's toll physically, I was 315 pounds, and sometimes I would feel winded walking. In general moving around was somewhat difficult and I always felt like I was carrying this extra cumbersome load. I knew I needed to make a change but it was hard. I feilt impossible even. But even though...