The Train of Thought

Long day at work today. The first couple hours I was busy prepping and I noticed that the tickets seemed to keep coming. They weren't necessarily piling up but they were consistent. Mostly single orders but they kept coming, a steady barrage. As I was working on prep I was trying to fill some things I see on the steam table and on the line. But it's not always easy to keep track of everything. After I was finished chopping potatoes and cleaning out the back, taking the trash out I told my co-worker I was going to clean up take a quick break and come back on the line as he was set to leave at 6:30. I knew most of the stuff in the fridge was full, and the bain marie, but as I came on the line I saw that there was several things on the steamtable that were almost gone. My co-worker got most of them and as soon as he left the big tickets started coming in the 3, 4 person orders. I was feeling annoyed because I had to heat up so much stuff. I've been trying to stay calm on the l

It was a stormy February night when she came in on my overnight, this woman from work. The sisters of the server I was working with. She was intoxicated at the time and talking a lot. Somehow she ended up talking to me saying I could come over to her place whenever, and what I thought implying that maybe I had a chance. Then when she went out to leave she blew me a kiss. Normally something most people who blow off as drunk nonsense, but not me. After this night I found myself stricken, thinking maybe, just maybe I had a chance with her. I'm not sure if what I want is to just hook up or be in a regular relationship with her but all I know is that I want her. But of course she has no interest in me, why would she? Why the hell who she want someone like me? I know this because she likes to tell me about all the guys shes dating, it seems to change every couple months, and she seems oblivious to me in that regard. Like I'm a mirage. Its an unfortunate cycle that I've experience

It sounds kind of strange but I actually kind of always enjoyed the secrecy of getting weed. The sort of secret society that seemed to form when you realized you met someone else who enjoyed the herb. Kind of like the Mafia but instead of crime, were getting stoned. I also don't really like to talk about my usage of it that much, but I also don't really like talking about myself at all period. During the early days of my and my friends use we never really had a solid source. It was always friends of friends, sometimes people on the street, although in those instances there was always a chance someone might just take your cash and give you nothing. Which is kind of funny when you think about it? Wouldn't this person make far more in the long run by just selling you the product? People tend to not want to return to merchants who take their money and give them nothing in return. Our first solid weed guy was this dude named Dan. We didn't have a phone number for Dan, or r

A couple of years ago I had something of a revelation. It felt like a crossroads of sorts somehow. I hadn't been to a doctor in years and I went in because of a referral to see someone for depression. What I was told was not particularly surprising to me, I had high blood pressure, was overweight and in danger of pre-diabetes. Afterward I saw a nutritionist who stressed to me how serious all of this was. I think I understood, and I knew what I needed to do but I felt pushback in myself, I remember thinking something along the lines of 'But Godamnit I like hot dogs and beer!' in my mind defending the horrible unhealthy lifestyle that I had been living for the past few years. It was taking it's toll physically, I was 315 pounds, and sometimes I would feel winded walking. In general moving around was somewhat difficult and I always felt like I was carrying this extra cumbersome load. I knew I needed to make a change but it was hard. I feilt impossible even. But even though